Augustine: Give Me Purity, But Not Yet (His Most Honest Prayer)
Augustine prayed one of the most honest prayers in history. Lord, give me purity, but not yet. If you have ever meant to do right someday, just not today, you have prayed it too.
The Prayer of a Divided Heart
Augustine wanted God and wanted his old sins at the same time. He knew the truth and ran from it for years, because surrender meant letting go of pleasures that had a grip on him. His mother Monica prayed for him for over thirty years, following him across the sea with rivers of tears. Plenty of us live in that same split. We ask God to change us, then quietly add, but not yet.
The Voice in the Garden
In a Milan garden in 386, weeping at the end of himself, Augustine heard a child singing, take up and read. He opened Paul’s letters to Romans 13:14. Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh. He said a light of certainty flooded his heart and every shadow melted. The prayer he had been afraid to pray was finally answered. He stopped running and surrendered everything.
When Someday Becomes Today
Maybe you have been praying Augustine’s prayer without knowing its name. There is mercy in finally being honest. God already sees the part of your heart that is holding back, so you can stop pretending and tell Him you are divided and need to be made whole. Romans 13:14 shows the way. Stop feeding what is starving your soul, and put on Christ instead. The freedom Augustine waited years for was available the whole time.
That broken man under the fig tree became one of the greatest teachers the church has ever known. His turning began the moment someday became today.
And that, friend, is how God lifts up your day.
Keep looking up!
Pastor Rodney
Related Take 5 episodes
- Blaise Pascal: The Night of Fire
- John Newton: Amazing Grace
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer: The Pastor Who Defied Hitler
- C.S. Lewis: The Atheist Who Found God
Books for the reader who wants more
- A Certain Kind of Heart — for the seasons God is shaping something quiet in you.
- Make It Rain — on praying like God is actually listening.
- Who Is Jesus, Really? — the longer answer to the One who answered Augustine in the garden.